Nine signs it is time to come back to St. Martin

1. You don’t like the looks of that sky.

If you are lucky, there will be no rain, sleet, or snow coming out of those grey clouds. We specialize in blue skies and it rains mostly late at night here, if at all.

2. Vitamin D withdrawal (sunshine)

Ah, that brilliant golden orb, bathing your skin in warmth and natural vitamins. If you look outside and wonder where it went; look no further. We have it right here.

3. You are craving sand gravity

The term “sand gravity” is a well-known phrase with our regulars; that feeling you get when you settle into your beach chair and decide to cancel your plans for the rest of the day. Incidentally, wouldn’t that have made a great ending for the movie Gravity if Sandra Bullock crawled up onto the shores of Club Orient? Whoa! Is this earth?

4. Your friends at work just don’t understand

I’m referring to annoying your colleagues with stories from your last vacation to the point where they can't stand you anymore and hide when they see you coming.

5. You’re cold

Really cold. Always cold. Waking up cold. Going through your day cold. Going to bed cold. Wondering if your furnace thermostat is lying to you. Wearing so many layers of clothing, your laundry pile is doubled from the summer months. At least it’s warm by the dryer.

6. You can’t get off the internet

You belong to six St. Martin Facebook groups and follow thirty-five like pages. It may seem obsessive to some, but you quietly explain it keeps you from looking out your window.

7. Culinary frustration

Try as you might, you just can’t make the same croissants and baguettes you have come to love here at home, so you ask for them at the supermarket, where they look at you like you are nuts. You confirm this when you leave the place, screaming obscenities.

8. You engage in pirate fantasies

The bottle of rum you brought back home is empty. Anguish ensues. You look for a parrot that will perch on your shoulder in pet stores. They can’t stop laughing.

9. You are dreading the holidays

People ask what your menu for Thanksgiving and Christmas is going to be and you answer Johnny cakes, conch fritters, and grilled shrimp. They make other plans, believing you may be losing your mind.

If you are exhibiting at least three of these signs or symptoms, it is time to come back. Don’t delay! Book a trip now and get some relief!